★ Which Vegas Tourist Are You? ★

The verdict is in. You are

A FIELD GUIDE TO THE VEGAS TOURIST FOODIE PILGRIMFOODIE PILGRIMBooked dinner 62 days out. The only strategy here withpositive expected value.FIELD IDENTIFICATIONEspresso martini photographed before sipped, dinner clothes packedseparately.DIGNITYMostly intactHYDRATIONEspresso martini. Technically a liquid.WALLET$187, plus supplementsWhichVegasTouristAreYou.com
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Every crew needs balance. You’re the Foodie Pilgrim — send this to The Guy Who’s Up. He could’ve had the omakase.

From the field guide

Habitat

The chef’s counter, and a reservation app at midnight, 62 days before anyone else was thinking about dinner.

Diet

The $187 omakase, espresso martinis, and zero slot pulls.

Distinctive behaviors

Photographs everything before eating it. Says “worth it” unprompted. Treats the supplements menu as a personal challenge.

Natural predators

Ninety-minute waits and the phrase “market price.”

Conservation status

Flourishing. The only species leaving this town with a positive expected value.

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