The verdict is in. You are
Every crew needs balance. You’re The Guy Who’s Up — send this to your Foodie Pilgrim, who thinks gambling is a tax on bad math.
From the field guide
Habitat
The same blackjack table since Thursday, and the ATM rotunda he pretends not to know.
Diet
Free well vodka and a comped breakfast he will mention several times.
Distinctive behaviors
Explains basic strategy to a cocktail waitress at 4am. Announces “one more session” the way other people announce engagements.
Natural predators
The math.
Conservation status
Perpetually about to be up.
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